Marvelous! Or, the Death of Cinema

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, or Sexual Tyrannosaurus

It might be the dumbest movie about dinosaurs ever made. Too bored (and, in Nicole's case, incensed) by the first one to bother talking about it, we parachute into the second entry in this ur legacy-franchise-sequel-reboot for all the adult babies that never let go of their childhoods. The dinosaurs are your friends. Your pals. They're literally puppies. They're pedophiles. They're living things just like us, and deserve to live (and exterminate various other species in the process). Come for the dinosaurs, stay for rage-mode Nicole, Science Facts™, the refinement of our critique of 'soy dialogue', and an extended discussion of pubic hair in Baldur'a Gate 3.
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 

Ant Man and the Wasp, or Small Soy-diers

It's another Marvel movie, and like most sequels in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ant Man and the Wasp doubles down on everything that was irritating and boring about its admittedly okay predecessor. It doesn't stand on its own as a film because it's just a prolonged set up for a plot mechanic in a future Avengers movie. Not too much to say here aside from the usual complaints, so for the first half of this episode, Nicole, Cole, and Stu go back to basics for anyone just joining in on the ride that is this podcast. What are the fundamental issues that plague not just the MCU but any attempt at an IP cinematic universe? What's a lampshade? What exactly is soy dialogue and what makes it any different from Whedonspeak? Will Nicole's curtains survive the recording? (Spoiler alert: they don't.)
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 

Aquaman, or The Water Boy (feat. Graham)

Friend of the show and comic artist Graham joins the crew for a thorough filleting of one of the DCU's post-Justice League successes, the gleefully dumb light-hearted sci-fantasy romp "Aquaman." We discuss the origins of the character and his comic iterations, his nemesis Black Manta, the affable screen presence of star Jason Momoa,  gestural environmentalism, bad wet-for-dry, big dick willie d, and how Black Manta in the comics has autism. All this and more in this episode jam packed with nautical nonsense and maritime adventure!Buy Graham's Comic!
 
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 
 

Deadpool 2, or The Cable Guy

We're heckin back again with another freaking awesome Deadpool movie you little epic piggies to listen to. Just kidding, it's a step-down from the really just okay first one in literally every way possible. The jokes aren't very funny, the action sucks (and got a stunt person killed), all the meta-stuff you're supposed to point at is lame, and the writers were too dumb to realize they pulled a Women in Refrigerators by killing off one of the hottest women to ever do it to even parody the idea into something marginally humorous. We also talk a little bit about the thankfully delayed Deadpool 3 and how much the MCU's first R-rated movie is going to be terrible. And Cole talks about whatever the fuck Cable's deal is. Plus, Nicole makes perhaps her funniest verbal faux pas in the history of the podcast.
 
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 

Avengers: Infinity War, or Oh Snap!

Sorry for the delay on this one everyone, but on this super special episode of Marvelous!, we finally reach the moment Kevin Feige and his murderers row of enablers and sycophants have built up to since 2008. Hailed by critics and audiences alike and celebrated for its "complex" sneaker-faced purple villain/having the audacity to kill half its cast before the next one (or subsequent movies) revives them anyways, Avengers: Infinity War is the biggest movie EVER until Endgame or any other Marvel movie the marketing tells you it's actually the most important and emotionally wrought film you'll ever see. In actuality it's like a DnD campaign written by people who took screenwriting notes from Joss Whedon and looks like a series of video game cutscenes spliced together. Nicole really thinks Chris Evans is hot in this movie and you're not allowed to clip any sounds she makes out of context.
 
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates.   

UNLOCKED - Patreon Raffle #1: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

For our inaugural Patreon Raffle, Nicole's friend Jack* won and mercifully gave us the option of watching either the defanged RoboCop remake or European mega-bomb Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets starring two of the worst actors we've watched on the pod thus far: sick and dying actor Dane Dehaan from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Cara "Peg the Patriarchy" Delevingne from Suicide Squad. It's also directed by notorious French pedophile/former good movie maker Luc Besson, the man behind Léon: The Professional and The Fifth Element. Based on the influential French graphic novel Valérian and Laureline, this is a film Besson has sought to make as a passion project since development on The Fifth Element. What could possibly go wrong?
Topics of discussion include: good movies made by European pedophiles, what if a Chinese guy with more screen time than Rihanna went to space, and Stu's Great Replacement Theory for stacked redheads in film adaptations.
(*Who was urged to suggest this movie by mutual friend Ronan. Fuck you too Ronan.)
Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 

Ready Player One, or ”Nerdgasm”

Steven Spielberg. Colossus of film. Father of the modern blockbuster. Gamer. Ernest Cline. Author. Dreamweaver. Redditor. United, these two titans bring us the ultimate in entertainment product, that last movie ever made, the one where a guy jumps Doc Brown's DeLorean over the Iron Giant while RX-78 Gundam Fights Mechagodzilla. This week, the gang tackles the film that defines the death of cinema: Ready Player One. Nicole has an unprecedented meltdown over the abuse of Kubrick, Stu dissects the truly terrible source material, and Cole theorizes on how this nadir of insular pop-culture self-referentialism led Spielberg from a career nadir to the recent highs of 'The Fabelmans'. All this and much more in a tubular epic winsauce episode that you don't want to miss!
Special thanks to Kris Wolfheart for his Dramatic Reading of Nerd Porn Auteur. Please check out his channel!
Supplementary: Stu's read-along of the book.Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates. 

Venom, or Tom Horny’s Wild Ride (feat. Andy)

Venom. He's a slime guy, he has big teeth, a Spiderman villain without a Spiderman, cast adrift into the seas of franchise uncertainty. In this appropriately amorphous, wide ranging episode we discuss the Venom character in comics, Tom Hardy's weirdo performance, Sony's jockying for position in it's tense shared-franchise relationship with Disney, the economics of modern franchise blockbusters, Cole gets so high they invent an entirely different movie, and Nicole makes Stu read some depraved fan fiction. It's a wild ride.
Check out Andy's Stream and support Those Good Old Fashioned Values.Thank you for listening! Please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing to our Patreon where you can enjoy special bonus content, exclusive Discord community events, and have your name added to our Credits Page. Production by Miguel Tanhi. Art by Zoe Woolley. Follow @MarvelousDeath for updates.